Crazy Crash is always at the beach.

The lifeguard says he's a goofy, lazy leach.

For reasons that were not profound

he feared the hardness of the ground.

He hadn't flown the skies for years.

The fear of flight brought him to tears.

Stuck on the beach, too heavy to fly,

with two gigantic feet and crossed in the eye,

tired and lazy, he scrounges for food.

The beachbums and lifeguard are often quite rude.

He tells all tales to make us laugh,

that silly, crazy, cross-eyed Crash.